Jesus was . . . Three proofs that Jesus was Mexican: His first name was Jesus He was bilingual He was always being harassed by the authorities. But then there were equally good arguments that Jesus was Black: He called everybody "brother" He liked Gospel He couldn't get a fair trial. But then there were equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish (um, I think he really was): He went into His Father's business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God. But then there were equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: He talked with his hands He had wine with every meal He used olive oil. But then there were equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: He never cut his hair He walked around barefoot He started a new religion. But then there were equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish He never got married He was always telling stories He loved green pastures. But perhaps the most compelling evidence that Jesus was a Woman: He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT! Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do.